Just when I thought......

Just when I thought
that life was going to get easier......
Life always shows up and shows up
in the best and the worst ways.

Blogging seems now to be a way of therapy,
both of life and of poetry.......
The muse to my life in many ways.......
Somewhat........
Bu then again, who would have thought that life would seem so hard
As you grow older?
They say life is what you make it, so I try to make it easier as my pen goes
along the pad of my creations.......my ideas.......my life on a pad of drenched tears
Over and over again the tears get stronger and the smiles get bigger
And I thank God for them both.......literally.........

So this is how I vent.....I struggle to find the next word.....the next sentence.....
The next idea........walk with me........

"Inside of Me"

inside of me
is a poem unleashed
years in the making
just kept for keeps
under wraps
34 years of living
scraping
and trying to make a change
with these words
of this pen
and the poet
lie within
going the path less traveled
less disturbed
less broken into stanzas
and I
am the puppet
letting these black
red
or blue words
on these white pages
speak for me
and what I stand for
or standing for
and before I fall
I give my all
for this gift
that was given to me
by the Creator
inside of me
until the end.........

Back to the drawing board.....

As I sit here writing this blog getting ready to celebrate 34 years on this earth, I realize that all my poetry, words, and life experiences have to change and become new. There have to be new experiences and new situations and struggles in order to see where your life will be standing after the time you spend.

I look up every night and see the brightest star in the sky and look up as if my mother (passed away two years now) is looking down on me to encourage me to keep it moving and enjoy the best and even the worst of life. Sometimes it brings tears to my eyes because I wish that she could enjoy it with me.......for now.

There are so many dreams and aspirations that I have in my head for the end of this year and next year that it's amazing and sometimes mysterious; amazing because I never thought that I could dream dreams this big; mysterious because my mind and God's vision seem to work in many mysterious ways. I thank Him for it, though, beause without Him I can't get the urge to get out and achieve my dreams!!

Until next blog,

Black Shadow a.k.a. "Unscripted"

"33" (in honor of my birthday on 12/17/1976)

i've lived these 33 years of life walking on eggshells
feeling like hellwriting heavenly verses like these for years.......
wanted to quit at one time because the stress felt like too much.........
but they say that a poet's best work is done under pressure....
and in a way....they're right......
writing much about my life and my feelings........not making up a lot....
as some say that i'm young still....with an old soul.......
never knew what that meant......
but from year 1....plus 32.......
every poem becomes new to my soul.....like a baby's only baptism......
the pen is like the water cleansing me of my anger and frustration.......
and before the next 10 years come around.....i hope to tour the nation.......
letting my heart bleed through the pen and then......you..
the listener......
the reader.....
know more about me....the abuse
misuse.....
and other things.....that flooded my mind
even at this wonderful age.......even at 33........

"L.O.V.E." (more than a four letter word)

love

to me

is more than just a

four letter word

that is just said

on one special day.....

love is when a kiss

or a hug occurs

for no reason

but to show genuine affection......

love is like 4 points from a preacher's message.....

accepted, but heart felt

like an angel touched us for that moment.....



love is more than words

spread affectionately

from the lips

of the other.......

love is simply.....

Loving one genuinely from the soul
Of one another's hopes, dreams, and cares
Venturing to please one's love for the body, soul, and mind
Eternally for not just the life of the person, but for the relationship.........

so u see....love is just not a loose fitting four letter word.....
it is a blueprint for the feelings of those meant to be....
and honestly.....it is a word that should be taken so seriously
that life in itself should depend on it.......

reaching......

reaching for


a verse in my mind


to take the gift


in me to the next level.....


an upgrade if u will....


and where there's a will


there's a way.....to get u to understand



how to reach the level



that my mind is at through the artistic


my life......in my head.....


the tears from my struggle


come out on the page

emotions already evolved

like a baby getting older of age

to understand their purpose

trust me

my gift from the eternal

is worth this.....the cost of reaching

those in need of a remedy

even if it's from me......

i reach for a pen and guidance to tell my story

before i rise to glory.....

i reach for a page to display my thoughts

and my mouth opens to speak the words of truth

so that i can bless this city

world

and nation......and for that......

i reach for an outlet to reach you.....

every time.....

"Falling from Grace" (inspired by Jay-Z)

i'm simply falling....


wait.....i've already fallen from grace


wondering how to get up for the next turn


burning and yearning for my soul to burn


through this pen.....letting my heart and soul bleed


over and over....hoping that someone is hearing my cry


through the words that i speak......



words soaking the page with hurt



despair



laughter



pain



my best



and my worst



sometimes my penmanship



is my blessing and my curse.....

penning these heartfelt worries

and struggles to converse with the inner inside

of my best interest......

investing in my time to cry

and time to time to smile

afterwhile......finding the inner me

to speak to the inner hurt

pain

and struggle

in you.......

trying not to fall from grace again....

or at least not as hard

than the last time.....