"33" (in honor of my birthday on 12/17/1976)

i've lived these 33 years of life walking on eggshells
feeling like hellwriting heavenly verses like these for years.......
wanted to quit at one time because the stress felt like too much.........
but they say that a poet's best work is done under pressure....
and in a way....they're right......
writing much about my life and my feelings........not making up a lot....
as some say that i'm young still....with an old soul.......
never knew what that meant......
but from year 1....plus 32.......
every poem becomes new to my soul.....like a baby's only baptism......
the pen is like the water cleansing me of my anger and frustration.......
and before the next 10 years come around.....i hope to tour the nation.......
letting my heart bleed through the pen and then......you..
the listener......
the reader.....
know more about me....the abuse
misuse.....
and other things.....that flooded my mind
even at this wonderful age.......even at 33........

"L.O.V.E." (more than a four letter word)

love

to me

is more than just a

four letter word

that is just said

on one special day.....

love is when a kiss

or a hug occurs

for no reason

but to show genuine affection......

love is like 4 points from a preacher's message.....

accepted, but heart felt

like an angel touched us for that moment.....



love is more than words

spread affectionately

from the lips

of the other.......

love is simply.....

Loving one genuinely from the soul
Of one another's hopes, dreams, and cares
Venturing to please one's love for the body, soul, and mind
Eternally for not just the life of the person, but for the relationship.........

so u see....love is just not a loose fitting four letter word.....
it is a blueprint for the feelings of those meant to be....
and honestly.....it is a word that should be taken so seriously
that life in itself should depend on it.......

reaching......

reaching for


a verse in my mind


to take the gift


in me to the next level.....


an upgrade if u will....


and where there's a will


there's a way.....to get u to understand



how to reach the level



that my mind is at through the artistic


my life......in my head.....


the tears from my struggle


come out on the page

emotions already evolved

like a baby getting older of age

to understand their purpose

trust me

my gift from the eternal

is worth this.....the cost of reaching

those in need of a remedy

even if it's from me......

i reach for a pen and guidance to tell my story

before i rise to glory.....

i reach for a page to display my thoughts

and my mouth opens to speak the words of truth

so that i can bless this city

world

and nation......and for that......

i reach for an outlet to reach you.....

every time.....

"Falling from Grace" (inspired by Jay-Z)

i'm simply falling....


wait.....i've already fallen from grace


wondering how to get up for the next turn


burning and yearning for my soul to burn


through this pen.....letting my heart and soul bleed


over and over....hoping that someone is hearing my cry


through the words that i speak......



words soaking the page with hurt



despair



laughter



pain



my best



and my worst



sometimes my penmanship



is my blessing and my curse.....

penning these heartfelt worries

and struggles to converse with the inner inside

of my best interest......

investing in my time to cry

and time to time to smile

afterwhile......finding the inner me

to speak to the inner hurt

pain

and struggle

in you.......

trying not to fall from grace again....

or at least not as hard

than the last time.....

"Real"

what i write is real.....
no names have been changed to protect the innocent....
no bullshit has been added....no filler needed.....
my heartstrings protected so that when this is injected into your spirit....
these heartfelt words are more lethal than any drug.....
my pen is my six-shooter......my words....ammo for days......
so let the light of these words hit you like sun rays in the morning......
early in the morning......
this pen..my torch of inspiration to carry to those
who have been through pain, suffering and strife.....
and the troubles of life itself......
this realness is for you.......

to all poets and people that listen to this.....
be real to yourself
and to what you do......
never let anybody put u in a box
or a paradox.......
but let us write real poems
for real situations
to the real people......

Remembering.....the time......(a poem dedicated to a good friend)

i was sitting......


remembering....the good times that we used to share....


even when we weren't together.......


wherever....we held hands under the moonlight....



kissing under new eternities.....new possibilities....



wondering about new futures with the same reality...



of us forever in a day....



even when u went away.....



i was remembering the bright sunshine from your smile.....



as the sun was shining on your sweet face and mine



next to yours.......bodies one to another....

heart to heart....chest to chest......

loves united.....waiting to be reunited.....

not just for one night..but for the eternity of our beings....

I wake up with your smile.....I sleep with your kiss.....

On my bosom.....on my cheek....letting me know that it's okay.....

And that you'll never leave.....

I remember the times we held hands in long walks....

Talking about our days...good and bad......

And we encouraged each other with "I love you"s......

"It'll be okay"......eating dinner for two like it was for more.....

But we didn't care...the rain didn't scare us away.....it just brought us closer......

Holding each other from the lightening storms and wanting to just sit.....love....

Care for each other......

I remember those times.....and I wish that I could have them over again......

just one more time....

It seems that
just once more
i've lived....to see this pen
stroke this page with openess
to the world.....
to you......
bleeding with my heart on this page
so much that it just might consume u....
to follow me with your heartstrings
and an ear to listen to even my faintest word.....
not slicktalking u like i want to sell you
my soul.....
but trying to make souls happy
with my art
ripping stages apart with my intellect
and respect to those who have encouraged before me
and even those after me.....
with the younger generation at arms length....
i pass them a pen....and tell them to follow their hearts
and write til the pen stops.....
and they look at the mirrors within themselves
and start to speak the truth.....
in the midst of lies
so just one more time.....
i'll leave my heart in my soul's content.....
until the next poem is released from it.....